Ducky Paredes

On Saturday, March 17, 2007, my siblings with our nephews and nieces attended a mass officiated by Tony Samson, President of Ateneo de Davao, at the GESU Chapel of the Ateneo de Manila. This was to commemorate the 50th Death Anniversary of Jess Paredes, our father, who died on that plane crash on Mt. Manunggal in Cebu aboard the Mt. Pinatubo. This was also the crash that took the life of one of our most beloved presidents — Ramon Magsaysay.
My father had ten children: Jesse, Me, Babsy, Tictac, Aping, Meiling, Gabby Lory, Jim and Raffy. We are all already older than our father when he died. Thankfully, we are all still in good health. Four are out of the country but the rest of us had a wonderful morning and early afternoon laughing together and celebrating the time that our father spent with us on this earth.
He loved us all and we all love him still.
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Here is what Meiling wrote about the day:
We had a private mass at the Immaculate Conception Chapel of the Gesu church in Ateneo at 1030 AM on Saturday, March 17, to commemorate Dad’s 50th death anniversary. The Manila contingent was in full force, except for Louie and Joey who couldn’t make it. Louie, however, joined us later for Alex’s belated birthday lunch and Joey dropped in at Lory’s house after everyone had left.

Fr. Ting Samson, Jesse’s classmate, said the mass. After his homily, he invited us to share our thoughts on Dad. and that’s when the fun began and the tears began to flow. Jesse started the sharing by talking about how dad took care of us here on earth, is preparing a home for us in heaven. He also tearfully referred to the grandchildren, which he still does not have, continuing Dad’s legacy.

Gabby talked about lessons he learned from Dd and the pressures and pleasures of being his son. I followed saying that we girls were under no such pressure from Dad, and how we all felt we were his favorite. I talked about how much i physically and painfully missed Dad’s presence until only 15 years ago.

Raffy said he didn’t really know Dad, and that he only knew of him from the stories of those of us who experienced him more directly, but he knows that Dad has always been present in our lives (as in Dad, i need a taxi, which always works) and that he is trying to be the parent Dad was to his own children. Ducky spoke about how difficult it was to be Dad’s son, how Dad would watch his stage performances at the Ateneo and hector him later about how he could have done better. But then the next day, Fr. Reuter would tell him that Dad so admired his acting and couldn’t stop talking about it.

Lory, who from the start of the sharing was already reduced to tears, finally stood up to tell us about two or three happy memories she had of Dad, one of which was when she was all dressed up for the first day of kindergarten when Dad told her she didn’t have to go to school yet, and so she had one more happy year of playtime with Jim and Raffy. Mom and Dad, she said, had a big fight about that but Dad prevailed.

Then the kids spoke up. Michelle said Dad saved her life in school by helping her get good grades when she really needed them. Gogi said she sees Dad in all of us. Patring spoke about idealized dad is in her mind, how perfect, how benevolent, a nd how she is trying to live up to Dad’s legacy. Did I miss anyone? All the kids talked about Dad being ever present in their lives.

It’s amazing and wonderful, how alive Dad is in this family — fifty years after his death. I hope our grandchildren get to know him as well as the present generation does. Perhaps it is time to write that book of our recollections of Dad and Mom.

The kids did the readings and sang at mass, beautifully. Since Gogi and Gisa bleonged to the same school choir — though not at the same time — they knew the same songs and even blended voices in Anima Christi.

It was a beautiful, wonderful mass, full of love and healing. Wish you all were there.

AND THEN….. we went to Lory’s condo for Alex’s debut. A catered lunch in the social hall of the condo for family and a couple of friends. Jesse sang for Alex, as she hoped he would, and declared that since she is 18, she can now be told green jokes. There was a lot of good-natured ribbing from her cousins and uncles and aunts about being grown up. Alex, i am told, was so happy yesterday. She wanted a wild and crazy time and she got it.

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